Top 10 reasons to have long fingernails

I have had long fingernails all my life, mostly because they grow fast and I'm too lazy to cut them all the time.


This is what they look like.







Ellen has recently been lobbying me to try to keep them short, so in defense, I have catalogued a list of uses for long fingernails. They can come in really handy in the following circumstances:

1) Peeling a banana or an orange without a knife.
2) Picking the banjo or dulcimer
3) Turning over french fries or fishsticks on the baking sheet with my bare hands
4) No problem splitting the English Muffin
5) They're good for self-defense
6) Scratching the cat's back
7) Getting a hot piece of toast out of the toaster
8) They serve as a stylus for my Palm Pilot and other touchscreen devices
9) Making details in clay models
10) AND I get compliments "Gee, your nails are so long! Are they real?"

So, I think I'll keep them

PS
I have edited my comments section so more people can leave comments. Feel free to leave a Top 10 list in the comments.